Chapter 6 - Rediscovery

6.

“Oh my God, is this really happening?” Sutton asked herself while pacing her room. “Could he really be alive…after all this time?”

She spent the remainder of the day locked in her hotel room trying to come to grips with the fact that her son may be out there somewhere. How could she have gone all these years thinking he was dead? She’d never seen his body when she was told he didn’t make it; she didn’t think she could handle it, so she’d asked her mom to do it for her. She’d trusted her…if mama saw his body, she thought….she picked up the phone and called her mom. She told her what she’d found out from Paul, but her mom just sat quietly on the phone.

“Mom?”

“I don’t know what to say, Sutton. It was disturbing. I guess I didn’t look that hard. I just saw the little body, the head full of black hair. I’d just assumed…”

“Mom, he is still alive!” she screamed angrily, “He could’ve been with me this whole time because you didn’t look hard enough!” The tears flowed from her eyes, but not from sadness this time; it was from pure rage. She couldn’t even speak to her mom anymore. She slammed the phone shut and threw it across the room.

She knew Paul had told her to hang tight but she couldn’t just sit back and act like this wasn’t happening. She went to the walk-in closet at the hotel she was at, grabbed a suitcase and began packing when there was a knock on the door. She was so infuriated, without thinking she flung it open and stared at the man in the doorway.

“What do you want, Mark?”

“Came to see if you want to go to dinner?”

“No, I’m going back to Louisiana. There’s something I have to do.” She walked back into her room and began packing again.

Mark laughed as he followed her in. “Uhm, Sutton, need I remind you of the little contract we have? You’re exclusively mine for six more weeks. After that you’ll have a break for a couple of months to deal with,” he waved his hand around in the air, “whatever you have to do.”

Sutton turned around to face Mark, who was standing uncomfortably close, with her folded blue jeans in hand. Tears began to fill her eyes as she turned and pleaded with him.

“Mark, this can’t wait six weeks. I have to go now.”

Mark smiled a cocky, condescending smirk as he sauntered over to her bed and sat. “And whatever it is, is it worth the legal battle you’ll be tied up in for the next ten years? I’ll keep your life in such fucked up legal turmoil you won’t be able to get credit for toilet paper.” He spoke so nonchalantly, like he wasn’t talking about trying to ruin her life.

Sutton sat on the bed, on the other side of the suitcase to keep her distance from him, and thought of the threats Mark has held over her head since the day he’d caught her and Greysen together. She really didn’t care about fucking up her own life. But now there was the chance that her son was still alive and she didn’t want to start out by fucking up his or worse, ruining the chance of getting him back. She clutched her jeans tightly against her chest, breathing deeply, trying to figure out if she could make it another six weeks.

Mark got up and moved right beside her, putting his arm around her shoulders as he lightly traced his fingertips over her skin. Sutton suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable as she realized she was still in her silk nightgown. She wouldn’t meet his eyes; she stared blankly ahead, clutching those jeans even tighter to stop herself from punching him.

“Of course…there’s always a way to work things out…for the right price.” He began to lean into her neck.

She jumped quickly from the bed. “Don’t you ever fucking touch me like that again. I’d rather die first. I’ll stay. I’ll do the tour for six more weeks. But you’d better stay the fuck away from me or I’ll get your ass stuck in so much legal shit it’ll make your head spin. People frown upon sexual harassment nowadays, Mark.”

He rose from the bed, face unimpressed by the threat, and laughed. “Do you think they’d really believe you over me? Some little whore, who me and four other witnesses caught fucking some stranger. A bitch that makes her living, singing and prancing around on stage like a high classed hooker. You keep believing that, baby.” He laughed as he walked out the hotel room.

Sutton screamed and threw the jeans in her hand at the door. She didn’t stop there. Anything that was not bolted down found itself flying across the room, smashing, breaking, and leaving holes in walls. She didn’t care. She never felt so much rage in her life. The tears began again in an awakening, stinging pain in her eyes. She dropped to her knees, fist pounding the ground. When her hands were a bloody, bludgeoned mess, she curled into a little ball and cried.


The next six weeks – even though she spent every second she was awake busy – were the longest six weeks of her life. They couldn’t pass quick enough. Paul called her twice a week just to let her know that he hadn’t forgotten about her and they were still working on her case. He was trying to keep things as low profile as possible as not to “get shit stirred up”, as he put it. He’d already interviewed all of the nurses working the day her son “died” and got a description from a couple of them who’d remembered seeing a new nurse and doctor that night. He was currently trying to obtain the security video from that day so they could go through it.

Sutton laid in the bed, she’d forgotten which city she was even in now, and thought back to when her life was so simple and pinpointed it down to only two times. Her life with Ethen was like a dream. They were so in love; he was the first boy she’d held hands with, kissed, made love to. They’d lost their virginity to each other when they were sixteen. That was the first time he’d asked her to marry him. Her thoughts of Ethen naturally led to Greysen. She missed him so very much her heart ached and she couldn’t believe she’d made it another four months without him. She couldn’t shake the feeling like there was some sort of connection with him and Ethen. It could’ve just been that they were the only two men she’d ever loved so desperately, but either way, it plagued her thoughts.

The phone rang and she answered with a voice tired and thick from crying.

“Sutton?”

“Paul? What’s going on?”

“I seriously think you need to come home, now.”

“What is it, Paul?”

“You’re not getting your way this time. Come home. You’ll want to be here for this one, I promise.” He hung up the phone without another word.

It was three o’clock in the morning on a Thursday in late June. She had one last show on Friday night before her break, but she couldn’t wait one more day; she couldn’t wait one more hour. She jumped up immediately and packed her bag. She left a note for Mark telling him that her dad was in the hospital and she had to go to him. She knew he’d understand that one. Even though Mark was a complete fucking douche, he had a close relationship with his parents and would never deny Sutton if her dad was ill. She hated lying about her father, but it was the only thing she could think of that would get her out and away with no talk of contract breaches and lawsuits.

She took a cab to the airport – where she learned she was in Atlanta – and hopped on the first flight to New Orleans, which just so happened to be boarding when she got there. Her heart fluttered in her chest the whole flight. She was scared and anxious and just couldn’t get there fast enough. When she arrived in New Orleans she jumped in a taxi to Ponchatoula. She didn’t want to waste any time going to her condo; plus she was so nervous she wasn’t sure she could drive.

She arrived right at dawn and decided to go to the cemetery for one last good-bye to the baby she’d loved for so long as her own. It was too early to go to the Police Station and she didn’t want to wake up Paul at his home.

She got the taxi to drop her at Sandhill Memorial. She stood at the entrance, under the faded black wrought iron sign that connected the two sides of the matching fence that encircled the graveyard. She looked over the hill to the east and watched the sun continue to break its way through the darkened sky, radiating beams of warmth down like a shower of foggy lights. The sun glistened off of the dew that clung to the grass like millions of sparkling diamonds lighting the edges of the dirt path.

She stood there for the longest moment just embracing the beauty of a place that had, for so long, held a piece of her pain. She started the walk up the path, over the little hill and stopped when she reached the giant willow that sat atop it. She looked down to her son’s grave and saw someone curled on his knees, body bending over the tombstone that lay flush with the ground. She stepped silently off the path, her feet brushing the grass and absorbing the wetness through the bottoms of her blue jeans.

The sun was almost fully raised and the figure became clearer the closer she stepped. Only a few feet away now, she could hear weeping. It took only one more step and her heart thudded.

“Greysen?”

He jumped at her words and spun around, standing in the process. He threw his arms around her without a word and his cry turned into deeper, heart-wrenching sobs. She leaned into the warm circle of his arms, pressing her face into the bend of his neck as his arms tightened around her waist. She’d been through so much these past months without him and she’d missed him so very much that she couldn’t help but cry with him.

They stood next to the baby’s grave and cried together for what felt like an eternity. She never wanted to let him go. She was so afraid if she let go she’d lose him again, but she wanted to find out what he was doing there. How, why, was he standing over her son’s grave, crying? The tears had subsided but their grip on one another only grew tighter. Then he spoke.

“Oh, Suttybug…I thought I’d never see you again.”

Her heart stuttered and her stomach tightened. “Greysen, how do…what are you…”

He pulled back just enough so she could see the raw torture in his eyes and he whispered, “Sutton, it’s me…” Before he started speaking she knew. She knew it in her heart. She’d always known but it just seemed too farfetched for her to believe it. She felt like she was forcing this fantasy world in her head to have her love still alive. But standing there, in his embrace, staring in those eyes, the eyes she’d seen portray that same ache so many times before, she knew.

His voice broke with his next word, “…Ethen.”

She lost it. Her knees gave out and a screeching, gasping cry tore from her throat. Greysen lifted her into his arms and cradled her tightly against his chest as you’d hold a baby. Her hands found his face, where she caressed him over and over like you’d do in a dream that you didn’t want to wake from. As long as you keep touching, you won’t wake up, he won’t go away. She stroked his face as the tears poured from her eyes and she choked for breath.

Greysen stood strong, staring into her eyes with a look so familiar it made her heart melt. She leaned her face into the bend of his neck, wrapping her arms tightly around it as he snuggled his face into hers. She couldn’t speak. She just let the tears flow silently down her cheeks while absorbing the feel and warmth of his body wrapped around hers – the feel of his skin next to her; inhaling his amazing, savory aroma that she’d missed so terribly.

He walked out of the cemetery, Sutton wrapped tightly in his arms. He opened up the passenger side door to a white Navigator parked outside of the wrought iron fence as he held Sutton with one arm. He set her down on the seat then began tracing her face with his hands.

“I love you so much, Sutton. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

Her heart accelerated as he leaned in slowly and pressed his lips to hers.

She spoke against his lips. “I love you, Greysen, Ethen…” She paused. “What do I call you?”

“I don’t care what you call me; it’s me, no matter the name. You can name me again if you’d like.” He chuckled. “Ethen, by name, is dead and I’m only known by Greysen, but if you…” She placed her finger over his lips and smiled a smile so glorious it drowned out the sun. “I love you…Greysen. I’ve loved you every second of every day.”

Their hands were holding each other’s faces as they stared into one another’s eyes. She had no idea how, but it was her love, both of her loves, in one…how? Her head began to hurt thinking about it.

“I’ll explain everything, but let’s get out of here first, ok?” he said softly.

“Anything to make you happy.” She smiled as he leaned in and kissed her again.

She couldn’t let go as he pulled back. She pulled him back in and began to kiss him; kiss him with the passion she’d held for her dead love for almost eight years, with the passion she’d felt for Greysen for the past ten months, with the combined want, need, lust, joy, relief and pure, true love she felt for this man that’s owned her heart since she was five.

He kissed her back with such emotion it ripped the tears from his eyes again.

It wasn’t a kiss of sex, though it easily could’ve developed into one, it was a kiss of getting the chance to hold someone you thought you’d never see again, a kiss of the bliss that exudes through your body when you find the person who is the other half of your soul, a kiss that repairs the empty depths of your heart that you were sure were completely torn to shreds, a kiss that fills every inch of your body with such comfort and hope that you know your life will never be the same again.

They stayed embraced in that kiss, remembering, relearning, renewing their love that had been ripped from them so many times; the love of times past and the love of new found passion.

When they were finally able to pull away, Greysen was kneeling on the floorboard of the passenger’s side seat, Sutton’s body clinging to his like she could force her way through his body. His arms were wrapped around her back so tightly his hands settled back on her waist. They’d melted into each other, in every way; mind, heart, spirit and body.

“I have a room at Michabelle’s in Hammond. Let’s go. Let me fill you in on how I rose from the dead.” He let a small chuckle escape from his throat and it made Sutton smile.